Civil Unrest Continues in Republic of America

Jessica L. Blank, WWTF News

(San Francisco, Alta California, United States) Civil unrest erupted for the fourth consecutive night in the embattled republic of America. (For more on this nation, read our sidebar: ‘Colonial Origins, Troubled Past.’) Sparked by the grisly and shocking on-camera murder of a man accused of a minor crime by local constables, America’s racial and ethnic underclasses have risen up in anger over this, as well as a long pattern of similar extrajudicial killings with a racialised tinge.

As reported by world media, American authorities have finally conceded to the uprising by arresting the officers directly responsible for this latest slaying, though it took three days of nationwide chaos to bring about this move. Cars have been destroyed, police offices have been set ablaze, and — in a move which scandalised the nation’s white ruling class — a branch of the national general goods merchant ‘Target’ has been ransacked. Looters were seen on video absconding with products including well-known export ‘Coca-Cola’ (partially named for the coca leaf used to produce the drug cocaine) and the local delicacy “hamburgers” (which, despite their name, bear little direct connection to the well-known German city). It is suspected by many that the property destruction was sparked by a police officer from the nation’s financially and politically dominant Anglo-Saxon clans.

A sense of profound unease has descended over the nation as its president, strongman Donald J. Drumpf (himself the scion of a failed real estate dynasty descended from members of racial jihadist terror cartel ‘the Ku Klux Klan’), has fanned the flames of unrest. Describing protestors using racial dog-whistles such as “thugs”, Drumpf has echoed the words of an earlier American anti-civil-rights leader, writing on popular American social media site ‘’: “When the looting starts, the shooting starts”. In so doing, the populist leader has encouraged the nation’s infamously trigger-happy local constabularies to engage in additional extrajudicial violence.

“When the looting starts, the shooting starts”

— US leader Generalissimo “God-Emperor” Donald John Drumpf, M.A.G.A.

While former leaders, including former Secretary of State Madam Hillary Rodham Clinton (former “first lady”, or wife, of controversial former leader William Jefferson Clinton) and the charismatic former president Barack Hussein Obama, have urged calm, Drumpf has taken a different tack. Sending out rage-filled missives via “tweet” to his followers, his tone in recent days has become so violent that he was censured by operators of In return, Drumpf has threatened to restrict America’s freedom of speech by disallowing private corporations from editing or deleting his increasingly inflammatory communiqués.

It is uncertain what will come next in the increasing escalation of tensions in America, but — particularly now, amidst the COVID-19 pandemic (which has hit America particularly hard due to lack of universal healthcare, as well as what is widely seen as government mishandling) — many in this sprawling, fractious republic remain very much on edge.

SIDEBAR: Colonial Origins, Troubled Past

os Estados Unidos de América, as it is formally known to its large latinx underclass (or The United States of America in the English tongue of the white-dominated ruling class), is a large continent-spanning nation in the postcolonial region of the Americas. A former British colony, America achieved independence after a bloody war of independence with the United Kingdom, sparked in part by violent riots of property damage and chaos called the ‘Boston Tea Party’. (Boston, not to be confused with the city in Lincolnshire, is a large city in America’s frigid northeast known for beans, their sporting team from the cricket-like indigenous sport “baseball”, and sometimes for ethnic strife between caucasian and non-caucasian settlers.)

A former industrial powerhouse which assisted Russia and the United Kingdom during the latter years of World War II, America is infamous for its support of nuclear weapons, a long history of aggressive military interventionism abroad, and a love of violent sport including an unusual local variation of rugby so brutal that it frequently inflicts lifelong brain damage. Despite its proud industrial past, America today has little in the way of a domestic manufacturing base, and shuttered rusting factories dot its landscapes. Its exports are dominated by simple low-tech goods: food and animal feed (in particular, the starchy native grain maize) and petrochemicals. In turn, America is dependent upon Chinese imports for most high technology items such as computers.

A major carceral state, America imprisons more of its own citizens per capita than any other nation. The balkanised police force is well-known to be highly corrupt, often utilised as a weapon against the nation’s long-suffering African-American minority, descended largely from slaves brought to America from Central and West Africa and forced to labour often to the point of death. Partially owing to this uneven policing, as well as a justice system that favours the dominant Anglo-Saxon tribes, law enforcement and prison sentencing are notoriously biased against America’s less favoured racial castes.

Populist strongman leader Donald J. Drumpf, whose family has self-styled as ‘Trump’, has been criticised throughout the international community in recent years for his bombastic style and frequent use of increasingly bold racist rhetoric against ethnic and religious minorities, including Muslims, Latinx people, and refugees from the nearby corruption-ravaged nation of Guatemala (which shares a common border with America’s immediate neighbour Mexico, itself a frequent target of Drumpf’s ire). Nonetheless, he remains firmly seated in the presidential palace, a sprawling white-washed compound originally constructed by enslaved Africans and guarded round the clock by rifle-toting loyalists known as the ‘Secret Service’.

Señor Drumpf commands a formidable and well-funded social movement banded together under the banner ‘MAGA’ — or ‘Make America Great Again’. This slogan is, in turn, borrowed from notorious populist Ronald Reagan, a former leader of America, known for his homophobic and racist policies which led to thousands of deaths from the HIV-AIDS epidemic of the 1980s and initiated the deadly ‘War on Drugs’ which has ravaged the Americas since. To his troops, Trump is affectionately known as the ‘God-Emperor’, a phrase popularised on right-wing network “4chan”, where he is frequently depicted as a towering figure of white supremacy and an icon of Aryan identity.

Author Jessica L. Blank is a systems engineer, event organiser, and political activist based in San Francisco, CA. This is a work of satire. If it doesn’t make sense, read it in your head in a “BBC English” accent.

Founded BronyCon. Tech nerd. Trans woman (she/her). Recovering rageoholic. Warren supporter who voted Biden. Secular Jew.